Tuesday, 15 January 2013

The Wait - 55 fiction

He kept waiting. His eyes glued to the window.

For a sign of her, for a sound of her footstep. Not able to sit nor stand he paced across the room. Nothing else mattered to him now.

Soon, the gate creaked open and he ran to her with his arms wide open, crying out, "Ma".




21 comments:

  1. Dear dear dear...such a lovely story, but that picture is a 'spoiler'. Please change the pic. It is very imp in this 'flash 55' format to keep the title & the pic quiet lest they may give out the climax.
    I am a huge fan of this short genre of writing. I also write them. U can check out on
    http://thirstydesires.blogspot.in/

    ReplyDelete
  2. Too much in very little...
    http://ananthvitlani.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nice one but as Ritesh said, the pic is a spoiler. I got what it was about in the 2nd line itself and it would have been far better had the surprise or revelation been left to the last sentence or so.

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  4. Good One but yes, the pic takes away the suspense!

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  5. Hi Jessy,

    Lovely F55, reminded me of the Taare zameen par song, Ma.
    Keep it up, looking forward to more F55s from you. :)

    Regards

    Jay
    My Blog | My FB Page

    ReplyDelete
  6. Nice 55 words...great job!!

    http://itjusthappenandthen.blogspot.in/

    Regards,
    Himani

    ReplyDelete

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